Someday, I'm gonna be famous

Do I have talent? Well, no.

These days you don't really need it

Thanks to reality shows

Can't wait to date a supermodel

Can't wait to sue my Dad

Can't wait to wreck a Ferrari

On my way to rehab

'Cause when you're a celebrity, it's "adios, reality"

You can act just like a fool

People think you're cool just 'cause you're on TV

I can throw a major fit

When my latte isn't just how I like it

When they say I've gone insane

I'll blame it on the fame

And the pressures that go with bein' a celebrity

I'll get to cry to Barbara Walters

When things don't go my way

An' I'll get community service

No matter which law I break

I'll make the supermarket tabloids

They'll write some awful stuff

But the more they run my name down

The more my price goes up

'Cause when you're a celebrity, it's "adios, reality"

No matter what you do

People think you're cool just 'cause you're on TV

Now, I can fall in and out of love

Have marriages that barely last a month

When they go down the drain

I'll blame it on the fame

And say: "It's just so tough bein' a celebrity"

So let's hitch up the wagons and head out West

To the land of fun in the sun

We'll be Real World, Batchelor, Jackass millionaires

Hey, hey Hollywood, here we come!

When you're a celebrity, it's "adios, reality"

No matter what you do

People think you're cool just 'cause you're on TV

I can throw a major fit

When my latte isn't just how I like it

When they say I've gone insane

I'll blame it on the fame

And the pressures that go with bein' a celebrity

Yeah, celebrity!

Uh huh.

Ah, where's my coffee?