I met an old friend in the bar the other night

He got a little drunk and he wanted to fight;

He jumped up and challenged every man in the room.

And just about the time he got the words out

An old boy jumped up and closed his mouth

And used his head for a mop and his butt for a broom.

It was an attitude adjustment, I guess it was his first time.

An attitude adjustment, now he understands just fine.

He got bent out of shape, then he opened his mouth

And just one appointment straightened him right out

It was an attitude adjustment; It'll work every time.

Now I've got this big old brother-in-law

And me and him just never did get along

Cause he just wasn't treating my sister nice.

He got drunk one night and started and beating me up

And I went and got a tire tool out of my truck

And straightened him out as cold as a block of ice.

It was an attitude adjustment and it'll work every time.

An attitude adjustment; I made him see the light.

Now he says I'm his kind of man,

He comes around me with his hat in his hand

It was an attitude adjustment; I cured his family pride.

Now my girlfriend slapped me in the face

And I said "Darling, that was your first mistake."

And then she went wild and her eyes turned red.

She started breaking everything and screaming loud

And kicking me and cussing me out

And I gave her a little adjustment on the top of her head.

It was an attitude adjustment, Ah she loves on me all the time.

Just an attitude adjustment, She's got a whole new frame of mind.

She don't nag and I don't beg, We get along and like I said,

Just an attitude adjustment; ah, everything's just fine.

She called the cops to take me in

And I said "You'll never do it, Friend."

And they just smiled and said, "Oh yes we will!"

Now sticks to the head and kicks to the shin

And several bites by Rin Tin Tin

And I couldn't wait to get into that jail.

It was an attitude adjustment; oh, I went along peacefully

Attitude adjustment; they made me clearly see

So my head is black and my legs are blue

And both knee caps are bit clean through

It was an attitude adjustment; made my whole life look brand new.

Yes, sir. I understand just fine. Perfectly.