Cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Are two things that stay the same

So when the world starts spinnin’ and your head hurts

There’s cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Yeah, the shade tree mechanic is a dinosaur

And you can't cuss; you can't smoke or spit on the floor

Don't hit on a woman, 'cause she might sue

You can't buy beer in this state past two

But that cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Are two things that stay the same

So when the world starts spinnin’ and your head hurts

There’s cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Now Buddha is legal but Jesus ain't

The saints are all sinners and the sinners are saints

It's not how you play, it's the final score

They don't show M*A*S*H on the tube any more

But that cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Are two things that stay the same

So when the world starts spinnin’ and your head hurts

There’s cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Yeah now, lovers usually leave at the drop of a ring

And daddy doesn't smile when a mockingbird sings

The kids are in school, but they're all packin' guns

The losers live forever and the good die young

But that cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Are two things that stay the same

So when the world starts spinnin’ and your head hurts

There’s cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Now the stars are all fallin' out of the sky

The doors are all locked and the bottle is dry

So pass me a chew and I'll sing you a song

If there's a problem with that, we can get it on

'Cause that cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Are two things that stay the same

So when the world starts spinnin’ and your head hurts

There’s cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts

Cheap bourbon whiskey and pearl snap shirts